Category: Diving Accident

The Puzzle of Life

7/18/2020

The kids love puzzles. Logic puzzles and jigsaw puzzles are enjoyed a great deal around our house. Have you ever tried to put together a jigsaw puzzle with multiple pieces from different parts of the puzzle at the same time? Pieces with sky, grass, house and flowers all at once? I have never sat at a jigsaw puzzle and tried to accomplish this, but I feel like I've been attempting to do this with my life over the past two months. The house project, caring for Tucker, caring for the kids, communicating needs with those outside our family, trying to take care of my own sick body and now, working to dispose of household goods and clothing and make sure my family is clothed and have a clean place to sleep and heal from mold toxicity that has hit us all at varying levels over the past few years.

Since the day when Tucker fell and I've been making decision after decision, I've said, "One step at a time." Trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together at the same time, I've had to be reminded that I need to take one step at a time. 8 year old, Mr. E has been plentiful with hugs and reminders to do just that. I am grateful. I've also known all along that God has His hand in this situation, but I've needed to be reminded of that Truth.

I've been constantly learning to wait for Him to bring the next piece of the puzzle to me to show me what a beautiful picture it will be. I don't think I'll see the full picture till the end, but along the way--in two short months, He has brought countless blessings. Walks with a sweet friend, willing and able guys to help with the big stuff on the house project, my parents being patient and blessing us with a place to live, an anonymous gift card for groceries in the mail, cards and notes of encouragement, a husband who prays with me and for me and kids who are generous with their hugs and willing to just listen and comfort when I cry.

These are all pieces of the puzzle that He is putting together. I think I'm learning that He will use me to place some pieces....but one at a time. Not all at once.
Listen to this Truth from Isaiah, a prophet of old...which encourages me in this exhausting journey called life...
"Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:30-31 (ESV)

I will wait for Him each day. For wisdom and guidance and patience and grace for each step. For each puzzle piece.

" I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
    and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
    more than watchmen for the morning,
    more than watchmen for the morning."
Psalm 130:5-6 (ESV)

This is a favorite in our house. Enjoy the beautiful music and rich lyrics!

~meredith

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A Dose of Truth

5/22/2020

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The other day I glanced at the counter and then stopped to stare. Accumulated in one section was a plethora of options. Mostly for pain control, but some for nausea too--especially after our Thursday of serious stomach sickness, we had some options on hand. I've been thinking about how we view our lives and what we reach for when we want to control the pain or queasiness we feel. I've been dealing with some anxiety again. Anxiety about the future, the present and the past. It is a battle for me. What am I reaching for? Something to relax the anxiety spasms for a few hours or the Truth that I know the One Who can give me perfect peace?

Jesus knew that this world would give us trouble. It certainly gave Him no end of troubles! But He had a promise for those who follow Him. In John 16, He told His disciples that they would experience sorrow and trouble, but He had overcome all of that. Not only that, but He would be sending His Spirit of Truth! "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 ESV) I want to be consistently reaching for the Truth that overcomes the troubles of the world. Just like a dose of pain medication, I need to take it at regular intervals to control those spasms of anxiety.

I thank God for His Spirit that abides in me, reminding me of His Truth as well as His Words recorded in my Bible. My memory seems to be short and when the pain is at a level 8, I need a heavy dose.

~meredith

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God's Got This!

5/16/2020

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Earlier this week, in a spirit of camaraderie and wanting to be encouraging, I told a lie. A sister was bemoaning how difficult it was to work full time AND help her son with his online school. She said he only had 2.5 weeks left and I declared, "You got this!"

Ummmm, no, she doesn't "got" it! She had just finished telling us on the other end of the call that it was overwhelming. What she was doing was incredibly difficult and it wasn't sustainable (my paraphrase).

Why did I tell her such a falsehood? I think I was buying into the lie of the world we live in...that when things are difficult, we just need to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, give ourselves a good positive pep talk and get after the challenge. Hence the "we got this" mentality. I can find several places in the Bible where being lazy is placed in a negative light, but I can't find anywhere teaching that by relying on oneself a person can muscle through a tough time and bring glory to God. Certainly that person's friends may admire him, but that leads down the slope of pride and arrogance.

We are to be diligent and faithful through difficult seasons and days, but how can we do this when we are so weak/tired/busy/overwhelmed/________________(fill in the blank)?
In the Apostle Paul's letter to the church at Ephesus, he is encouraging them who they are as Christians, how to live, how to relate with others around them and what it means to follow Christ. This is a difficult calling! Towards the end of the letter he gives the secret to actually doing these things, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might." (Ephesians 6:10 ESV) What he doesn't say is, "Work really hard and you can do it! You got this, Ephesians!" No! Be strong in the Lord! He's the One Who is strong. Not you or me. We obviously are weak--even though we may try to do some great things and impress our friends along the way.

Bringing Tucker home from the hospital on Sunday I knew that this week would be full of the unexpected and that I'd need to be strong in the Lord. I know that I'd need to take Paul's advice in the verses that follow. I realized that I'd need to, "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil." (Ephesians 6:11 ESV) Realizing something and actually doing it well aren't synonymous. I did it, but got busy and fell back into an unconscious, "we got this" mindset until 5.14.20 came. That changed everything. Now I was visibly reminded just how independent I try to be and exactly how strong I am. I had no strength. I had no wisdom. I had nothing left at one point except for deep sobs of regret that I couldn't seem to get the lesson that I must rely on Christ for everything. As we literally cried out to God during the day of incessant nausea and vomiting, He showed us how utterly dependent we are upon His mercy. His mercy to cover our sin for eternity and His mercy to carry us day by day. I once had a friend in high school tell me that Christianity is just a crutch for weak people. I agree that I am weak. But with Paul, I will say, "But [the Lord] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." This is not a crutch. This is a reasonable faith in the Creator of heaven and earth and the Redeemer of my soul and a ever deepening love. My soul longs to know Him and see others know Him too! "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV)

In other words, what would be real encouragement is, **"God's got this!"**

I’m so sorry I fall into the independent trap and would attempt to encourage someone with such a falsehood. Thanks be to God, His Mercy is More! This song is probably one of my all time favorites.

~meredith

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I am Known!

5/13/2020

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The past couple of days I have been pondering the concept of knowing and being known. As small children we often tell people exactly what we are thinking and feeling without shame or fear of what they will think. In this, we are transparent and have the ability to be known. Maybe it's just me, but as I grew up, I gained a sense of not always being the person that others really wanted to know, so I became very careful what I revealed and to whom I revealed it. Consequently, loneliness became part of my everyday experience. Along the way, God sent people with whom I could be more vulnerable and share more of my thoughts and feelings and struggles. I am so thankful for these dear people. Some were just in my life for a season, and some (like Tucker) have been walking alongside me for decades.

Why is it so important to be known? Why not just tread the path of life as a lone ranger? Work hard, get rich, buy stuff, make a few surface level friends to share good times with and then die. There are those who do exactly this. Perhaps they have a family--even a beautiful and successful family--but their hearts are empty and lonely. No one really knows them--especially not themselves.

Our Creator wishes to be known. "Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 9:23-24) God desires that we know Him! In fact, Jesus said that eternal life was knowing God. "And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." (John 17:3) Eternal life isn't about some far off land called heaven in the future when our life on earth is done. It is NOW! It is knowing the one true God at this moment and knowing him increasingly more day after day.

So, He wants to be known and eternal life is knowing Him. How do I do this? Jeremiah also recorded God saying, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13) Seeking Him with all my heart in part means laying down everything I think I have or believe I am and surrendering to His plan for my life. Right before this verse in Jeremiah 29, God said he has good plans for His people. Plans involving "a future and a hope." His people had been faithless, yet, he wanted to be known by them and had a future for them. The same is true for me and you. I know I have lacked faith in His provision. I have gotten distracted from seeking Him with all my heart.

In Genesis 1 we learn, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27) We are created in the image of the Creator Who wishes to be known. No wonder I felt so lonely as a child when I was hiding myself from others! I was created to be known. You were created to be known...and we were all created by the One true God Who desires to be known by us and to know us! What an overwhelming privilege. As the apostle Paul wrote in Philippians, knowing God often comes through great trial. "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection...." (Philippians 3:8-10a)

This storm in my life is of eternal value. It is showing me moment by moment how much more I need to desire to truly know Christ and that I must seek Him. In the uncertainties of each day and the pain, I have no inner resources, I must seek Him. Hallelujah that He so desires to be known my ME that He will walk through this fire with me.

This song by Graham Kendrick sums up my desires in the midst of this storm.

~meredith

(All Scripture quoted from the English Standard Version)

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My Hope is in God

5/12/2020

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During this time of stress and uncertainty, God has been showing me some ways that I can tend to be dependent on myself and other people in my life rather than on Him. Is it bad to rely on those people around you for help, encouragement, and comfort? Not at all! If, however, you make those people in your life your only source of hope, you will be disappointed.

Before the accident occurred, three of my siblings were in another town with our Grandpa, I and Mama were with some other grandparents, and Daddy and my brother were working at home. I don't mind being away from my siblings, but I must admit that they are my best friends, and at the end of a week away from them I am glad to see them. When our family was thrown into a state of stress, I immediately longed for their return, for their encouragement, for them to be with me. But I had to wait a day and a half until we were able to be together. During that time of waiting I did spend time with other family, but God also showed me through their absence and the uncertainty I felt about Daddy that God is the only one who I can truly rely on for all I need.

I have been reading Psalm 78 these past few days as a part of my reading through the Psalms. The entire chapter is rather discouraging as it tells of the unfaithfulness of the people of Israel, but through these sections one point has been sticking out to me: even when the Israelites grumbled against God, He still performed glorious deeds for them! Verses 4-8 say,
"4 We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.
5 He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children,
6 that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children,
7 so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments;
8 and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God."
Verse 7 says that God's purpose for doing glorious deeds and wonders is so that we may set our hope in God. If I am setting my hope in the security of being with my family and friends, I will be let down, but if I put my hope in the Lord, I will never be shaken.

"Their heart was not steadfast toward him; they were not faithful to his covenant. Yet he, being compassionate, atoned for their iniquity and did not destroy them; he restrained his anger often and did not stir up all his wrath. He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and comes not again." ~Psalm 78:37-39
Praise God for His compassion! It is my prayer that God will continue to draw me to Himself, that I may hope in Him and be an encouragement to those around me, that through me they may see Christ.

Here is a song that I recently discovered that has directed my gaze to Him who holds ALL things.

~paisley

I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from the sunshine
For the skies they turn to grey.

And I don't worry for the future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I'll walk beside him
For he's what lies ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb
Every burden's getting lighter
Every cloud is silver-lined.

There the sun is always shining
There no tear will ever dim the eye
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

(All Scripture quoted from the English Standard Version)

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I Shall Not Want

5/11/2020

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"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...." echoed through my mind throughout last night as I was up and down caring for Tucker. When I awaken in the night, it usually takes me quite awhile to go back to sleep. Thankfully, I can use this time to think and pray. As I was pondering Psalm 23, and especially this phrase of the psalm, I was reminded of my conversation with Mr. A earlier in the day. I realized how easy it is to take things for granted. Like the expectation that at the end of a day I'll crawl into bed and lie next to my husband and listen to him go to sleep (because he's a "lights-out, lights out" kinda guy and falls asleep much more quickly than I do). Even as I lay near him on the couch last night and listened to him fall asleep after we'd been up, I knew I had taken so many things about him for granted. When we got him home yesterday, he was still so doped up on pain medication and muscle relaxers that he barely smiled and while he wasn't rude, he lacked the kindness and thoughtful nature that I had apparently taken for granted. (Thankfully, we are trying life without the muscle relaxer after the advice of a good friend and nurse and he is much more like himself today!)

So, if the Lord is my shepherd and I shouldn't want for anything, I was struggling to reconcile that concept with not taking things for granted.
Taking things for granted in my mind is expecting that things will be there. Contentment also is wrapped up in something akin to it while I expect that God will provide everything I need. I suppose it comes down to my expectations vs gratefulness. I married Tucker because I knew that he was gentle and kind and loving. He's had a few bad days over the years (twenty-two this past weekend!) but it has been his general personality and typical behavior. Somewhere along the way, I forgot to be thankful to the Lord and to Tucker for treating me kindly and gently. I came to expect it. I've also come to expect great things of God--because He is always doing great things and He's perfectly doing those things in my life and around me. (Seen a sunset lately or a newborn filly? Or have you experienced peace and joy when it makes absolutely zero sense?) Indeed, I can expect these sorts of blessings from an awesome Creator Who has saved me and I can be content with all that He has blessed me with, but I should never cease to praise and thank Him for what He has given me. Neither should I cease thanking God for my husband. For sparing his life on Thursday when he fell. For walking with him through the surgery and hospital stay and for walking with us into this battle called recovery and rehabilitation and change. I'm also working on demonstrating and expressing my thankfulness to my dear husband even today.

Let us be content today in what the Lord gives us--be it the blessing of trial or the blessing of excitement and fun. And let us thank Him continually for all of it.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV

Here is the song the Lord put in my heart and mind last night!

~meredith

(All Scripture quoted from the English Standard Version)

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Do Not Fear

5/10/2020

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I've experienced a great deal of fear over the past 24 hours. Call it anxiety or concern or worry, but what it really boils down to is fear. Throughout the Word of God we are told not to fear. It's no wonder we need to be told so often as there are so many scary things in this planet. Things that are unknown on a grand scale and on the closest personal scale. People used to fear falling off the end of the earth when they believed it flat. Most of us don't fear that any longer, because we know the truth that the world is round and gravity is keeping us down. Humans feared the speed of locomotives when they were new. They thought perhaps it wouldn't be safe to travel at such speeds. Now we hurtle down the interstate at seventy-five miles per hour or more!
Where is the disconnect? Why do I keep fearing what will come in the future or what will happen on a hard day when I have seen evidence in the lives of others AND even my own life that God is faithful. He is close. He has carried me through all of my life and He won't drop me now. This morning I was praying and telling the Lord that I'm clinging to Him and the Truth that He has been walking the mountains and the valleys with me thus far and based on that and what I read in His Word, I don't see Him letting me go. A picture that came to mind was of a parent holding their small toddler. From birth, when a devoted father picks up his child, he holds them tight. Somewhere along the way, the child realizes that when they feel uncertain, they can throw their arms around Daddy’s neck and hang on. When they feel a rush of love, squeeze tight. Sometimes they even push their nose and eyes onto his chest to hide from someone or something. That devoted Daddy never loosens his grip. He holds fast to his beloved child.
I once had a disagreement with a flight attendant on their policy of holding my baby during take-off. She insisted that if something happened, I would release my arms and drop the baby. I disagreed vehemently based on my own experiences. Once such experience was when Miss B was a baby of about 8 months. I was walking in the kitchen carrying my sweet baby girl and suddenly my feet were flying out from under me because of some water the cat had spilled on the tile floor. I had no idea what was happening, but my instinct was to wrap my arms more tightly around her. I suffered some injury, but she was completely safe in my arms. Gone was the instinct to throw out my arms and brace my fall. It was replaced by the greater instinct to protect the one I love.
I'm so grateful that the Lord has shown me this as I've been typing this morning. He is he perfect daddy. In Hebrew, he is Abba, the term for daddy. He will hold me fast. I do not need to rehearse the text of fear in my mind, but rather the truth of Isaiah 41:10,
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Indeed, HE will hold me fast!
This song is such a comfort because it's full of so much Truth!

~meredith

(All Scripture quoted from the English Standard Version)

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God is Good!

5/9/2020

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This morning I reflected upon the goodness of God. Yesterday was a good day. Not because Tucker came through surgery successfully or because the day was sunny and perfect weather and I spent the entire day outdoors praying with some sweet friends and receiving encouraging texts and calls from other dear friends. It was a good day because in the midst of the storm of not knowing and waiting and hard conversations and many tears and the separation from Tucker, God was truly ever present. Circumstances and emotions should not dictate whether or not I think God is good. Reality and history show me over and over that no matter how I felt at a given time or what I may have thought during a particular season, God was and is always Good.

I think the message was clear in both of our heads yesterday because the song Tucker suggested Mr. A and I sing at Bible time last night was an old Vineyard song, "Good to Me". (Lyrics and link below)

Scripture abounds with examples and statements of God's goodness. Here is just one statement:

The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.
Psalm 145:9

~meredith

I cry out,
For Your hand of mercy to heal me.
I am weak,
I need Your love to free me.
Oh, Lord, my Rock,
My strength in weakness,
Come rescue me, oh Lord.

You are my hope,
Your promise never fails me.
And my desire is to follow You forever.

For You are good,
For You are good,
For You are good to me
For You are good,
For You are good,
For You are good to me

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A "Diving" Accident...

5/8/2020

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Perhaps you've heard by now of the "diving accident" that has happened in the Boone household. In my sleeplessness last night, the crazy picture of Tucker inadvertently diving into our 'under mold remediation living room, was "humorous" -- albeit strange. Without a doubt, my sweet husband can swim well....and even dive into a deep pool with success. This dive however was into the floor 10 feet away and it certainly wasn't intentional. The results were not good. 3 fractured vertebrae in his neck and a gash on the back of his head (likely from the impact of his head against the floor with a face shield strap in between.)

He has spent the night in Intensive Care thoroughly braced and cared for. Around midnight he was heading in for an MRI. I have not heard the results of that. The Virus floating around all of our lives has made even my visit to the hospital impossible. The only one who has been able to see him (besides those caring for him) is a dear friend who is a chaplain at the hospital here in Flagstaff. Even his chaplain duties have been restricted during the Virus, but he was able to make it in late last night and pray with Tucker and share encouragement and comfort from God's Word with him. Such a blessing. (This same brother was helping Tucker and Mr. A with our mold remediation project on Monday and Tuesday.) Prayerfully, he will get back in there this morning before Tucker's surgery (which is currently set for 9:30 a.m.).

We are all so grateful for your messages of encouragement and love and especially your prayers. God absolutely knows what He is doing. I can't quite see it yet, but I know that I know that I know that He is Good and Faithful and Trustworthy. So, I'll go with what I know--not what I may feel at this moment because that will most likely fluctuate. I will choose with all my reason and my heart to trust Him.

This has become our Psalm over the past 14 hours...
Psalm 46 (ESV)
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
8 Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
11 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
~meredith

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The Puzzle of Life

A Dose of Truth

God's Got This!

I am Known!

My Hope is in God

I Shall Not Want

Do Not Fear

God is Good!

A "Diving" Accident...

Thoughts shared by various Boones

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