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Who Am I?

5/2/2022

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A question that I commonly deal with is who I am. So often I define myself by what happens to me, or what I do. Is that really who I am? 

If we place our identity in the things of this world, we are letting ourselves rest on a slippery foundation of sand. Why? Because our circumstances will change, and everything in this world will eventually pass away. Instead of trusting and defining ourselves by these things, if we define ourselves by who we are in God and what He calls us, we will have a firm foundation to stand upon no matter the storms that assail us. 

Instead of focusing on my illness, I remember that God has made me exactly the way He wants me to be. (Psalm 139) 
Instead of viewing myself as unlovable, God sees me as beautiful and lovely, made in His image. (Genesis 1:26) 
Instead of feeling vulnerable and alone, God watches over me and never leaves me. (Proverbs 15:3, Deuteronomy 31:6) 
Instead of focusing on my weakness and fear, God promises His strength. (Isaiah 41:10) 
Instead of feeling worthless, God views me as so valuable that He died to rescue me! (John 3:16) 

As Kristyn Getty puts it in the lyrics of the song “Christ is All in All,” 
“See how He loves us
Children of God
Now let us love each other
If He has called us
Children of God
That’s who we are, His chosen and beloved”

That’s who you are, His chosen and beloved. 

~paisley 
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Joy in Suffering

12/27/2021

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This was originally published as a guest post on Katerina's blog, www.beautyinthepainblog.com. 

~~~~~~

Suffering. What do you think of when you hear that word? Some words that come to mind include pain, hardship, sorrow, and rejection. If these are what characterize suffering, how can we have joy during the Christmas season, or any time of the year? 


Do we have our definition of joy wrong? For myself, I often find myself confusing happiness with joy, but for the follower of Christ we are commanded to "Rejoice always" (1 Thessalonians 5:16). How can we rejoice when we are suffering? 


The answer lies in the events of Christmas. The reason Jesus came to earth as a baby on Christmas was to die in our place, to cleanse us from our sins, so that one day we can live with God forever in a place with no pain, suffering, or sorrow anymore! As Revelation 21:4 beautifully states: "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." 


This is the reason that we can have joy, no matter the circumstances, because we can trust in a God who has redeemed us and promised us that one day all things will be made right. This is the hope I cling to in the midst of my own suffering and sorrows, so that I can "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice." (Philippians 4:4) 


Here is a song that I have been meditating on for the past few months and has been a comfort in reminding me that the Lord cares for His children. 

~paisley 

(All scripture quoted from the English Standard Version)
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A Course Worth Running

8/7/2020

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Do they make marathon courses with a massive hill at the end? Not being a runner, I had no idea. So, I did a tiny bit of research on the friendly internet and found that indeed, there are flat marathon courses as well as those considered hilly. Many runners actually flock to the easier courses to qualify for a more difficult race where they desire to compete. I landed upon on an informative article written by a professional trainer who helps runners prepare for races. She uses the example of a runner who excels at the hilly races, but needed some refining as he prepared for a 56 mile race full of 5-6% inclines. Her number one rule to remember was it’s about “effort, not pace.”  Trainer Jenny Hadfield writes, “There are many benefits to running by effort, but during a hilly race, the value is in having a strategy that allows you to efficiently manage your energy no matter the grade of the hill, the temperature, the wind, and any other variable.”


It took me a bit to digest and understand what she meant. How that plays out for a runner is that he (or she) is always putting forth effort, but the pace doesn’t remain consistently the same. The trainee “walked many of the steep uphill sections to keep his effort at a relatively steady, easy level for the entire marathon. This takes patience and faith in the strategy, but it pays off.”
(https://www.runnersworld.com/training/a20803506/the-best-way-to-run-and-race-hills/)


This season of our lives as a family has felt like a marathon. A hilly marathon full of ups and downs. Tremendous struggles and overwhelming blessings.  Laughter and smiles and heartache and tears. Prayers of anguish and confusion intermingled with prayers of praise and thanksgiving. 


This week as I pondered yet another project to cleanse our house of mold, I felt like we were so close to the end but here we were climbing another hill. I realized that I was trying to sprint up the hill, but lacking the mental, emotional or physical energy I could.not.go.another.step. I thought crazy thoughts like: “my family would be better off without me”, “I’m just causing more trouble for so many people”, “I think maybe I’m crazy!” and other ridiculous thoughts that I know aren’t true. I prayed, knowing the lies that were circulating in my head and camped on what I know to be true. God has a plan. Part of His plan is to continually teach me to deny my own strength (because He brings me to a place where it’s obvious even to my thick head) and to teach our family. If His plans are perfect, I don’t want to miss the rest of this lesson. No matter how complicated it may be or how inadequate I have to admit that I am! There’s a mile marker here at this point in the marathon. I don’t know the number because it’s kinda fuzzy, but the name of this course is named after the author of it—“Faithful and True.”  Revelation 19:11 says, “ After that I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse [appeared]! The One Who was riding it is called Faithful (Trustworthy, Loyal, Incorruptible, Steady) and True....”




I don’t want to run any other race but this one!  It’s Jesus’ Way, Whom I love and can trust. Why would I want to veer off course or question His path for me when He has been so loyal and steady thus far? Whether I enjoy the hills or not, His route is purposed for my good, not my comfort. A runner doesn’t train to win greater races by running only running flat tracks at sea level. Flagstaff, Arizona at 7,000 ft has seen plenty of international athletes who train here because of the terrain and altitude. I suppose I am spiritually training at high altitude! Uncomfortable? Yes. Worthwhile? Yes. This Faithful and True Course is a testimony to my Trainer. I’m overwhelmed by His goodness and consistent presence. Exodus 33:14 reminds me that He has promised me that He will go with me AND give me rest.  He’s also given me 6 amazing teammates in my household and plenty of folks to encourage Team Boone along this path.
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Be Set Free!

5/25/2020

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This Memorial Day, as usual, I see much making of and thankfulness towards the men and women who have served and do serve in the cause of freedom for our great country. I also am extremely grateful for their service and what it means for me on a practical basis of living life. I think of the memorials our family visited last fall in Washington D.C. and how impressive they were in thanking these men and women and countries that came together for the cause of freedom. Ultimately though I wonder if in our spirit of patriotism we forget the real reason that we are free and the true freedom that we can have. 


Firstly, God brought the first explorers from Europe to what became the United States centuries ago--they literally stumbled upon a land they didn't know existed. It seems they had a desire to find wealth and riches for their purses, but He had something greater in mind. Less than two centuries later, God-fearing people ventured across the Atlantic Ocean to seek freedom in worship and the blessing they believed God had for them in America. Through much trouble and tribulation, ultimately that freedom of religion was realized--and 400 years after the Mayflower landed in America, we know what religious freedom is (and what it looks like to have it threatened). 


But what is true freedom? Is it the ability to worship as we desire? There are countries all over the world where governments feel threatened by religious people and lock them up or kill them for their faith in one god or another.  Are those people experiencing true freedom? The early Christians in the first century AD faced great hatred and persecution by the religious Jews of the time and later by the Roman government. Ultimately, Christians have faced persecution throughout the centuries following Christ's death and resurrection around 30 AD.  If we go by the ability to worship as we please as the standard for freedom, then Christians would not as a general group have experienced freedom since they began following Christ two thousand years ago!


The Apostle John records a conversation Jesus had with some Jewish people who had believed in Him. Not understanding that they were enslaved to sin in their lives and not truly free, they argued with Jesus--not understanding their lack. They needed to be set free by Jesus! They needed to abide in Him and the Truth of His Word and He would set them free from their enslavement to sin. He told them, " 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.' " (John 8:31b-32 ESV)     


This freedom is not contingent upon our circumstances, our government's position on religious freedom, nor our own perceptions or emotions. The Apostle Paul wrote regarding true freedom, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit." (Romans 8:1-4 ESV) This is true freedom. Knowing that Christ, by His death, has set us free from sin's eternal effect upon our soul. If we accept this Truth and walk now according to God's Spirit, we have true freedom. 


This true freedom brings real peace in the midst of life's storms. This true freedom brings comfort even when persecution is on every side. This true freedom brings hope when the foreseeable future seems grim.


Let us cry out like the psalmist, "Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is at my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is at my side as my helper...." (Psalm 118:5-7a ESV)  In Him, we are truly free. Let's set a memorial stone for that!

~meredith 
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(This photo was taken at the very impressive WWII Memorial in Washington D.C. the end of November. Our memorials of places or things we've witnessed is to take a picture of all the feet that experienced that spot together. This was with some sweet friends from the area--hence the 11 sets of feet!)
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I am Known!

5/13/2020

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The past couple of days I have been pondering the concept of knowing and being known. As small children we often tell people exactly what we are thinking and feeling without shame or fear of what they will think. In this, we are transparent and have the ability to be known. Maybe it's just me, but as I grew up, I gained a sense of not always being the person that others really wanted to know, so I became very careful what I revealed and to whom I revealed it. Consequently, loneliness became part of my everyday experience. Along the way, God sent people with whom I could be more vulnerable and share more of my thoughts and feelings and struggles. I am so thankful for these dear people. Some were just in my life for a season, and some (like Tucker) have been walking alongside me for decades. 


Why is it so important to be known? Why not just tread the path of life as a lone ranger? Work hard, get rich, buy stuff, make a few surface level friends to share good times with and then die. There are those who do exactly this. Perhaps they have a family--even a beautiful and successful family--but their hearts are empty and lonely. No one really knows them--especially not themselves. 


Our Creator wishes to be known. "Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 9:23-24) God desires that we know Him! In fact, Jesus said that eternal life was knowing God. "And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." (John 17:3) Eternal life isn't about some far off land called heaven in the future when our life on earth is done. It is NOW! It is knowing the one true God at this moment and knowing him increasingly more day after day. 


So, He wants to be known and eternal life is knowing Him. How do I do this? Jeremiah also recorded God saying, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13) Seeking Him with all my heart in part means laying down everything I think I have or believe I am and surrendering to His plan for my life. Right before this verse in Jeremiah 29, God said he has good plans for His people. Plans involving "a future and a hope." His people had been faithless, yet, he wanted to be known by them and had a future for them. The same is true for me and you. I know I have lacked faith in His provision. I have gotten distracted from seeking Him with all my heart. 


In Genesis 1 we learn, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27) We are created in the image of the Creator Who wishes to be known. No wonder I felt so lonely as a child when I was hiding myself from others! I was created to be known.  You were created to be known...and we were all created by the One true God Who desires to be known by us and to know us! What an overwhelming privilege. As the apostle Paul wrote in Philippians, knowing God often comes through great trial. "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection...." (Philippians 3:8-10a)


This storm in my life is of eternal value. It is showing me moment by moment how much more I need to desire to truly know Christ and that I must seek Him. In the uncertainties of each day and the pain, I have no inner resources, I must seek Him. Hallelujah that He so desires to be known my ME that He will walk through this fire with me. 


This song by Graham Kendrick sums up my desires in the midst of this storm. 

~meredith 

(All Scripture quoted from the English Standard Version) 
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God is Good!

5/9/2020

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This morning I reflected upon the goodness of God. Yesterday was a good day. Not because Tucker came through surgery successfully or because the day was sunny and perfect weather and I spent the entire day outdoors praying with some sweet friends and receiving encouraging texts and calls from other dear friends. It was a good day because in the midst of the storm of not knowing and waiting and hard conversations and many tears and the separation from Tucker, God was truly ever present. Circumstances and emotions should not dictate whether or not I think God is good.  Reality and history show me over and over that no matter how I felt at a given time or what I may have thought during a particular season, God was and is always Good.  


I think the message was clear in both of our heads yesterday because the song Tucker suggested Mr. A and I sing at Bible time last night was an old Vineyard song, "Good to Me". (Lyrics and link below)


Scripture abounds with examples and statements of God's goodness.  Here is just one statement:    


The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works. 
Psalm 145:9

~meredith 


I cry out,
For Your hand of mercy to heal me.
I am weak,
I need Your love to free me.
Oh, Lord, my Rock,
My strength in weakness,
Come rescue me, oh Lord.


You are my hope,
Your promise never fails me.
And my desire is to follow You forever.


For You are good,
For You are good,
For You are good to me
For You are good,
For You are good,
For You are good to me​

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Happiness aka "Thankfuls"

10/16/2013

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  • A food processor that can I can use to make rice or oat milk, sunflower seed butter, smoothies, pureed soup and more!
  •  A new recipe for crockpot tapioca pudding (and I actually found tapioca pearls at a health food shop in Gdansk!)
  • Light switches that are low enough for my four year old to reach (but still too high for the one year old)!
  • Door handles that are too high for the 1 year old!
  • Toilet paper and tissue packs with the name brand of my youngest daughter--Amelia!
  • The kids' coughs are improving day by day
  • Some people from church found us a bunk bed with a pull out bed...so we've added another mattress to the room and voila, sleeping for the 4 big kids.
  • Folks from church loaned us some tubs of toys....cars,  play kitchen items, etc. and another woman we ran into at the store yesterday said she has a box of Lego bricks if we'd like to borrow those!  :)  
  • A sweet welcome from the church this past Sunday with a bag of Kwidzyn made food items.

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